12/12/13 Paris, France, Rue de Crimee
I have been to busy to write! I landed in Paris on Monday at about 6:20am, and it was completely dark. I found my luggage easily and the airport was easy to navigate because of the signs and English translations. The flight over to Paris was 12 and a half hours and I was exhausted in the Malaysian Airport waiting to board so I collapsed in the seat next to two French sisters, we didn’t talk, I think we were all tired. I put on an eye mask and listened to some music and fell asleep. The flight attendant work me up to serve me my dinner and I ate it sleepily and then fell straight back to sleep. It was freezing on the plane and I had to get two blankets to use. After about 7-9 hours I woke up feeling refreshed and had some snacks in front of me from the flight attendant. I put on a movie, James Bond Casino Royale and watched the end of it before listening to the entire Kodaline album, they are an Irish band and their music and lyrics are amazing. I watched some more movies and then landed in Paris! I wish I had the window seat though. I changed to warmer clothes and caught a taxi to my hostel. The taxi driver didn’t speak any English so I pointed the address out to him on my notebook and he drove on a busy, busy highway while listening to French Radio, there were a thousand Peageout cars, the same model as my very first car. I’m pretty sure I was smiling the whole way.
I arrived at the hostel, which is so nice and offered a free breakfast service when I checked in. I had already eaten breakfast on the plane so wasn’t hungry but a free breakfast everyday is awesome! The taxi ride was expensive, $49 Euro! Which is about $100 Australian… I wasn’t allowed to go into my room until 2pm as they had to clean it etc, so I put my baggage away in a locker and then I got an inbox on Facebook after connecting to the free WiFi about how much of a selfish prick I was for not cleaning up more of the previous rent house, that Kris was already stressed enough, that he was mad, that I was ungrateful, selfish and irresponsible. My smile immediately vanished and I chocked back tears, I was in shock at why Nathan was contacting me about this because he had nothing to do with that house, he was a new housemate. Between work, uni and organizing travel by myself I had given so much time to try and get that house up to scratch to move out when the lease run out. Scrubbing walls, the toilet, cleaning stains in the driveway, carrying carloads of boxes and rubbish to my work to dump. I responded in shock and immediately inboxed Kris in an upset panic. Both responses were equally as nasty and down putting. With Kris claiming that he didn’t believe I was sorry, it was 9am by this time and there was a walking tour at 10am that I wanted to go on to get the most out of my time alone in Paris, but now it also posed as a brilliant distraction from my oncoming anxiety attack. I went into the bathroom and started crying, this lasted for about half an hour before I messaged Charlotte about it and replied to Kris, gaining a response of it was ‘twice’ he had supplied me with accommodation and that I might not have a place to live when I return. Nathan responded in kind by saying how childish I was and that I expected Kris to treat me like a “nagging parent.” I couldn’t stop crying.
It further strengthened my desire to move far away and never return. I couldn’t help but think how at the previous leased house, before Kris and Nathan were apart of my accommodations, I was in charge of everything and cleaned and did everything in that fucking house for Christine and Caitlan without a thanks, while working two jobs and studying full-time.
Caitlan never ever cleaned for inspections in that house, ever. I remember staying there till 4am cleaning for the move out to Kris’s house that he was now complaining about.
I was frustrated, angry and upset because I had no one to help me and no one stood up for me. I went from being in a position like Kris to being a messy burden like Caitlan was to me, it seemed. I was so upset, it was 9:40am now and the walking tour started soon. I held onto the silver lining that I can always move back home to the country with my family next year and that it wasn’t my fault, that I had done everything in my time management to get that house clean for the move out before I caught the plane.
I had cleaned everything but the kitchen and that is why Kris was so mad, it seemed. I tried to push it aside but my day/trup was ruined now and all I could think about was how angry Nathan and Kris were and how Nathan didn’t want to hear “bullshit” excuses. I was ganged up on. I felt like I couldn’t even justify how bust I had been, how I had stayed at that house till past midnight packing, carting rubbish and cleaning inside cupboards, windows and vacuuming. I have never felt good enough my whole life and this was a solid reflection.
I met two people on the tour, Francis from Melbourne and Daniele from Los Angeles. They were awesome and a nice distraction, the tour was great, even though my mind drifted back to sadness throughout the day. We saw many historical sites and then had dinner in a restaurant where I ate SNAILS! Snails taste like seafood, oddly enough. I actually really enjoyed them.
I had a mini panic attack about my locker, I had locked my luggage away safely as I couldn’t go into my room until 2pm. So the tour guide actually rang the hostel for me and asked so I wouldn’t have to go back and it turns out their lockers don’t just magically open when the time is up.
I walked around the Christmas markets with Daniele and Francis and down to the Arc de Triomphe where we took some photos and were shocked at the crazy roundabout there. Then we did the Moulin Rouge District tour that night. Not only did I actually see the Moulin Rouge but we saw where Vincent Van Gogh used to live with his brother, Theo. And Nancy (the tour guide) gave us a brief history of how tragic his life was. He was only successful after his death and he killed himself, claiming that “the pain will last forever.” I wish I had worn my Van Gogh starry night leggings but I didn’t bring any BlackMilk at fear of losing them or having them stolen. There were sunflowers hanging from the windows of the house, which is one of his most famous works of art. We then went to a small cafe where non other than Pablo Picasso used to paint his work.
But the most breathtaking part of the tour was the Basilique Du Sacre-Coeur. It is a chruch, a huge catherdral and you are not allowed to take photos inside which is such a shame because it was absolutely breathtaking. I don’t have faith and I’m not religious in anyway but something about that place was so spiritual and actually witnessing people with that much faith, touching the statues in silent pray was humbling and made me wish I was religious.